There he was. The wind blows gently shifting each lock of hair. The sun shines down upon his face. His eyes so gentle yet cold. He’d lost her; the one that meant so much. His heart was fragile and on the verge of collapsing. Why did she leave him? What had he done? He had hoped to give her his soul, the moon, and the sun. She was the comfort that filled the night. She was the warmth on a winter’s day. Oh, how he remembered the way she’d walk with that alluring sway. The lips he used to touch were no longer there. He missed that fruity smell of her long hair.

He stared at the table in disbelief. There lay her keys to the apartment. She lived there no more. Her toothbrush was gone; not even a hair in drain. She’d erased her presence from his home. There was no letter. There was no goodbye. She simply was not there when he awoke. He tried to call but her number had changed. What could this be ? How could she just leave? Did his heart mean nothing? Last night she said she loved him, but now it’s just a lie. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. Tonight was the night he was going to give her this ring. He threw it on the table next to the keys. He wished he could throw his heart onto that table. He didn’t want to feel this. He didn’t ask for this. Where was she now? He wanted to know. Where was the girl he used to know?

Just some more practice.

Self care

Don’t you just love the feeling when you remove toxic people and situations from your life and relationships? It’s like a big boulder has been lifted off of a stack of smiles you’ve been saving up. Your chest feels lighters. You don’t care that you have a stack of dishes to do after cooking a big meal. You’re just so happy you’ve reclaimed the mental space you wasted on dealing with toxic situations. 

You know it’s important to try and maintain your self care. You’re the captain of your life. You can try and accommodate everyone else, but at the end of the day you’re the one in control. There comes a time when you need to put on the seatbelt sign and tell some people to sit down and take a backseat because you are approaching your destination. If they choose to stand up and endure some turbulence that is their decision. You’re still the one that has the controls at hand. You can’t make a detour for every passenger in your life. Passengers will come and go, you have your tight knit crew and trusted co-pilot. Get to your destination in one piece. Don’t lose fuel stopping at everyone elses destination and be left too empty to make it to your own. Now, there isn’t anything at all wrong with helping out others, just remember to be wise about it. 

Try to put on your own life jacket before diving in to pull out everyone else. Don’t spread yourself so thin that it’s difficult to recover. You can only pour so much until your glass is empty. Remember to love yourself in your pursuit of loving others.