We all experience those tough moments in life. Those times when it feels like everything is crashing down and crumbling at our feet. What do you do? Do you stand still frozen with fear and anxiety; or do you roll with the punches and try not to crack under pressure? When these moments pop up in life my first thought is what are my resources and how quickly can I access them? If I need more help to get out of a jam what can I do? Where can I turn? When you lack sufficient resources and access to resources it can feel like you’re stuck in molasses with a ten ton weight strapped onto your back. With each day that passes it feels as though the weight is increasing and your knees are beginning to buckle. You desperately want to remove the burden, but you can’t reach the clasp. Then one day you catch a break; you find a sharp object and cut the straps or perhaps someone arrives to aid you by sharing or removing the weight. You fall to your knees and try to catch your breath. You are weak and weary but you survived. You stood and moved with strength you never believed was within you. Your legs carried you beyond your perceived limits. You are more powerful than you ever dreamed. Your only limits are the ones you put up. Tough times can bring out the diamond in people sometimes.
In this past week I had to close the door on many ventures and open the doors to new progress, change, and personal development. It was sad to see some of my labours of love disappear, but it made space for the new opportunities and growth. There have definitely been some growing pains alongside these new opportunities; however, I worked hard, had faith, and pressed forward in tough times. I had to be very resourceful under time constraints. I made it out alive with the help of my loved ones around me. Things change. Sometimes it happens with a cool and calm reserve, but other times it happens quickly with a gust of violent wind rearranging everything with a steadfast will.
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It can be very trying to collaborate with individuals that just rub you the wrong way. I am very glad that I can be very flexible and at least understanding when it comes to navigating difficult professional relationships. Whether it be personality clashes or polar opposite attitudes; I personally found it valuable to demonstrate an ability to work with a variety of individual’s personalities, communication styles, and over all attitudes. Have I met individuals that I would not want to work with if given the choice? Yes, of course! However, I will not allow another person’s actions to dictate my reactions. I can’t control anybody or anything but myself. I am responsible for myself and the actions I take. I aim to have thoughtful actions. I do not like to blindly react to things without analyzing a situation first. Even in emergency situations you need to think quickly before you act. It is like a reflex for me to analyze before jumping into something. My overall thought is that it’s important to know yourself, be aware of yourself, and try not to allow an external individual take control of your reactions and outcomes.
If things had gone differently I wonder what life would have been like? I feel like I am longing to understand a part of myself that I never really got to know. The culture I was only exposed to in bits and pieces. I feel fragmented at times. I know nothing of the mother tongue of half my lineage. Parts of me want to explore, parts of me feel cautious and weary of my naivety, and parts of me feel too far removed from the culture I never truly knew.
The moments when you hesitate and freeze;standing still and waiting for the perfect moment to make your move. Sometimes the perfect moment never arrives and you’ve been standing for so long that you’ve stopped progressing all together. Sometimes you’ve got to take a chance and step forward. Don’t become stagnant waiting for some ideal moment that may never occur. Hesistation may let your opportunity slip by. If you’ve been wanting to go for something for a while go ahead and do it. It’s ok if you’re afraid to fall. You can get back up and keep going or maybe, just maybe, you’ll soar above your doubts and fears. You’ll never know what your long-desired moment holds if you’re stuck, frozen, and waiting endlessly for the perfect moment.
As I prepare to complete another year of my life on this Earth, I like to reflect. I think I’ve done well in terms of my professional development and personal growth. I feel as though I’ve begun the transition from the planning phase into the implementation phase. All the things I hoped, planned, and prepared for all of these years have begun to come to fruition.
I do feel blessed to have all of the opportunities that have been afforded to me. I am grateful for the mindset, coping skills, and motivation my family and community have cultivated within me. I am thankful the paths known and unknown that I’ve traveled thus far. I think I can sum up my year like this: you’ll never quite know what’s around the corner until you get there or you have a better vantage point. As I go forward another year wiser and eager to learn, I will work on putting action to my words. Time step into the water; just getting my toes wet is not enough for me anymore. Here’s to a year of dreams, hopes, and plans manifested.
What do you do when you hit a fork in the road? There have been many times in the past when I was uncertain and just plain stuck between decisions. Do I change my field and complete a professional degree or do I go to graduate school and remain in my current field? Do I take that position or do I move for a better potential opportunity elsewhere? Do I stay or do I go? I could go on with the many options that I’ve encountered over the years. As I reflect, I notice that it wasn’t that I truly was uncertain it was more that I was fearful of the outcome if things didn’t workout or lacked confidence in my ability. In my heart I knew the option I was more in favour of, but I also knew my choice was often the more risky option. In the end I usually ended up going with the safer option.
It’s a difficult decision the tred the more risky path, especially if you are not the only person your choice will impact. After deciding upon the direction I wanted to take my life I said “why not try the risky path” the worse thing I could do is fail. I’d rather try and give it my all than stay too safe and constantly wonder if I would have made it. Would I have been great at that? I am in the process of motivating myself not to settle for mediocrity and complacency. I don’t want to have regrets to ponder about decades from now. There is a time and place for “safe” decisions there also times when you know deep down that you want to try and take the risk. When it comes to decisions regarding the overall direction of my life I now ask myself if I had no fear and no doubts which option would I choose and why. What is really holding you back?